LIES

WE'VE BEEN DROWNING IN THEM.

If lies were water, we would have to be able to swim like Johnny Weissmuller to survive. Remember him? He played Tarzan. He was a champion Olympic swimmer.

“There are lies, damned lies, and statistics”, said Mark Twain. While he attributed this saying to Disraeli, it was popularized by Twain. Never have I seen more examples in my lifetime, at age 73, than with the pandemic and its mismanagement. Truth has been battered and bludgeoned as would an amateur fighter who gets in the ring with a seasoned pro. Nefarious motivations abounded. As if the pro didn’t have enough of an edge, his corner put a horseshoe in each glove. The stakes were high. Very high. I know how we can save Truth.

We need a vaccine to immunize us against lies. It would have to be a powerful vaccine, since many lies in this arena are insidious, subtle, well-supported. That’s where statistics come in to play. They “give a lie the color, not only of truth, but indisputable, scientific truth.” (Quora) This vaccine would have to come in two concentrations, depending on individual exposure; regular and extra-strength. I would need the latter. I contracted the Covid virus, so I had natural immunity. I had an antibody infusion; more fortification. Then my doctor said I should get vaccinated. When I balked, he said “It is an added layer of protection.” I complied, and life as I knew it ended. See my first two Substacks. As I presented with symptoms of what is now called vaccination injury, the doctor could do nothing for me. I researched my disorders and their cause full-time for 18 months in desperation to find help. The lyric from Bob Seager’s song Against The Wind resounded in my mind. “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

For this new product, which we could call LieVax, we would need a company with a lot of experience in both lying and manufacturing vaccines. Alas, there are such companies. We could start with the one that made the vaccine that made me sick…Pfizer; then we can give Moderna a piece of the pie too because they have earned it. Any other company that wishes to apply will have to present double-blind studies proving their capability in the requisite areas.

A convincing campaign will certainly be essential. It’s magnitude should rival that launched be the Federal Government and the Public Health Agencies charged with our care. They had an excellent phrase with which they led the charge, to encourage the public to drink the Kool-Aid, and many did, including me. That’s why I will be first in line for LieVax. “Safe and Effective” was the oft-repeated mantra of the pandemic era. Simple, powerful, convincing. Who wouldn’t want that?

We need a well-known public figure with whom all can identify to serve as the mascot, so to speak, for this project. My choice is Anthony Fauci. He would appear on national television to promote LieVax. “Take one shot of this and never worry about distinguishing truth from lies again. You will forever be inoculated against lies. Just one shot; no booster. Powerful stuff.” Fauci taking his shot will be carried on every network. Programming will be interrupted for it. Then the test to demonstrate that LieVax works. Fauci will try to talk, but will be unable to. That’s because every word he has ever spoken was a lie; incontrovertible proof that LieVax works. TADA! So be careful taking this if you are an inveterate liar. You will be unable to speak. Those inclined toward white lies will be able to, but don’t worry if you hear them, as long as you are vaccinated. LieVax even protects you if you read lies in print.

This important project will be very costly. What about funding? Oh ye of little faith if you assumed I put pen to paper, actually fingers to laptop, without anticipating impediments. I contacted the Bill and Melinda Foundation. They were fascinated and invited me to come in and make a presentation to the Board. Funding was approved, not to exceed 17 quadrillion dollars. After all, these are not stupid people.

What about mandatory LieVax injection. They did that with the covid vaccination by extortion. Should we do that here? To be determined. I guess we need our own Board to make such decisions. We will have to set qualifications for Board members, such as, your IQ must be >25. Lots to do.